Ideas for Baby Reality TV Shows

In preparing for Baby's arrival, I've found a lot of parallels between getting married and having a baby: lifelong commitment, excitement and anxiety simultaneously, showers, sending out a million and one cards for one thing or another, I could go on. But one thing that doesn't seem to have parallels: pregnant moms don't have reality TV shows!

In today's culture, it's so easy to get caught up in the three-ring circus that weddings have become. I, like many young brides, got caught up into the romance of weddings. I had a gorgeous, elaborate wedding that reflected who me and my husband are, which is exactly what is expected of brides to create. Mostly thanks to watching "Whose Wedding is it Anyway?" religiously.

We have all this magic and romance for preparing to become a wife, but what about to become a mother? I found that when I got pregnant, I went straight back to watching shows like "Say Yes to the Dress" and "My Fair Wedding." I pondered what it was that sparked the appeal once again, and I realized: it's because these shows fed into my need to process life changes. And unlike wedding reality TV shows, which come a dime a dozen, I found it difficult to find many shows that appealed to me about preparing for baby.

So here are some ideas I have for Baby Reality TV shows that are about preparing for baby and what exactly the format would be:

"What Not to Wear: Maternity Edition": Finding clothes to flatter the ever-changing pregnant body is extremely difficult! This show would follow women as they got a wardrobe makeover, talk about changes during pregnancy, and of course have heart-wrenching stories about their relationships and pregnancy.

"Say Yes to the Baptismal Gown": Even those who don't practice infant baptism have been using these beautiful baby gowns for dedication services, so everyone can enjoy this show! This show would involve mommies to be admiring, swooning, and arguing over what gown they'll purchase for their baby's big day.

"My Fair Birth": Women would get a birthing expert to come and talk about their birth plan. This show would inform women of their options, and help them choose the best birth for them. My vote would be NOT David Tutera for this job.

"Rich Mom, Poor Mom": It's so easy to spend a lot on the nursery! In this show, couples would set a budget for their nursery, and then go about putting together a stylish but budget-friendly baby room. Common disagreements between couples would probably be theme and when to get the crib ready.

Wimpy White Boy Syndrome

Today I talked with my doula, and this phrase came up: she asked me if I had heard of 'White Baby Boy Syndrome.' I told her I hadn't. Apparently statistically speaking, Caucasian males take the longest time to develop their lungs than other gender/race combinations, and so generally do worse in NICU.

I looked it up, and came across a variation of this "syndrome" name: Wimpy White Boy Syndrome'. Call me macabre/racist/whatever, but the name just cracks me up. Click HERE to read more!

April 9th

This is when my baby will be born. Write it down: April 9th, 2013. How do I know this? Because my Aunt Debbie told me so. And so, it is written in the stars. Here's how I know this:

When my mother was pregnant with me, I was due August 23rd. At my mother's Baby Shower, my Aunt Debbie said, "Wouldn't it be neat if your baby and Andi shared a birthday?" You see, Andi is my older cousin. Her birthday is on September 2nd. My mother was horrified that Aunt Debbie dared say such a thing, because that would mean I would be ten days late!

Guess who was born on September 2nd.

I was a fat, late baby.

The world has its ways of coming full-circle. Now, Andi is expecting her second baby and is due in April, just like me. She is, however, scheduled to have a Cesarean birth on April 9th. So this weekend during my Baby Shower, I had to ask Aunt Debbie, "Do you think our babies will share a birthday, just like me and Andi?" And she agreed!

So there you have it: Aunt Debbie said that this is my baby's birthday. I will now have my baby 10 days early rather than 10 days late. Thank you, Aunt Debbie. I appreciate your blessing!

Birthday-sharing mamas with future birthday-sharing babies!

Ways I Know I'm in 3rd Trimester

You know you're in the 3rd Trimester when...

1) You have to use counter-balances to get out of bed.
2) You have those moments where you look down, see your belly and am SHOCKED, then remember.
3) Oh yeah, speaking of which, things are getting harder to remember.
4) You have those moments where you look down, see your belly...
5) Wait, I already listed that one.
6) Does that count as something to put in the list?
7) With all the things you have left to do, you're constantly reminding yourself the bare minimum of what babies need and that you have those items.
8) You keep repeating weeks left in your head instead of weeks gone by (6 weeks, 6 weeks, 6 weeks...)
9) You keep reminding yourself that the baby comes whenever it feels like it (about 6 weeks, about 6 weeks, about 6 weeks...)
10) You're not quite sure if your feet are swelling because, well, frankly, it's been a while since you've seen them.
11) You get food amnesia (I remember getting myself a plate of that, but now the plate's empty... when did that happen??)
12) Labor doesn't sound half as bad as it used to. Sure, whatever, horrifying agony. Just make the back pain go away.
13) EVERYTHING makes you cry. Oh Taylor Swift, you were absolutely right! He WAS trouble when he walked in.
14) Everythinge ELSE makes you laugh like a maniac. Ah ahahahahaha, stupid goats!

Back to organizing my house! I have a Baby Shower this Saturday and people are coming over Friday night. I should make it look like I haven't been completely slacking, right?

Breastfeeding

This commercial cracked me up:

I may have mentioned it before, but I'm going to be breastfeeding. I definitely want to be discreet about it when it public, but I can see how much of a hassle that could become! Hopefully people have been becoming and will become more open to seeing breastfeeding and considering it normal and acceptable for a mother to breastfeed comfortably in public. It is, by the way, protected by law in 45 states, so if anyone gives me grief, I know my rights.

Pretty excited about using my hooter hider, though. Mostly because the name makes me giggle. It's very lightweight and looks like it'll be comfortable for me and baby to use.

Hee hee, hooter hider.

Follow Up

Thank you all for your supportive comments and stories! It's good to know I have such great friends and family to join me on my journey.

Ok, so in an attempt to make a short, concise, straight-to-the-point blog post, I realize I came across a bit too one-sided. So let me make this clear: I realize things may not go as planned. I recognize that things happen. That's why I chose to give birth at a hospital as opposed to a home birth or a freestanding birth clinic. While I greatly respect and admire women who choose to go that route, since this is my first, I wanted to make absolutely sure that no surprises came my way. If I decide that I need pain meds after all, by golly I want them to be able to hand them over. If the baby is in distress and a c-section is needed, I want to be wheeled down the hallway.

I've done some serious soul-searching with the "what if" of needing a c-section. I realize that it is a possibility, and that there's a time and place for them (my husband was born Cesarean!). I recognize that I will probably have to go through a grieving process for my birth plan, but I know that with the support of friends and family (and looking at my beautiful healthy baby), it will be something I can accept and embrace.

I've written a birth plan, of which both my doctor and my doula have copies. I'm also bringing my own copy. In it, I basically repeat over and over: "Do not begin any interventions unless I request them or if there is an emergency, at which point please ask for my consent first." Hopefully by covering that point, there shouldn't be any issues in the future. (This is what I used for guidelines. Very helpful!).

I know this is a more serious blog post for the second day in a row, but I wanted to make sure that it was said. In our culture, we have so many options about, well, everything! And that includes medical treatment. And when it comes to a woman finding the "right" way to birth, the "right" answer is whatever it is works for her. Whether she decides to be medicated or non-medicated, home birth or hospital, natural or elective c-section, her decision is the best decision.

Ok, so in an attempt to lighten the mood, I want to tell you a funny joke my doctor told me:

We were talking about my birth plan and how I'm wanting to birth non-medicated. She looked at my firmly and said, "Now, if you labor too long, I will recommend interventions." My heart skipped a beat. Had I chosen someone who wouldn't support my non-medicated birth after all? I try not to jump to conclusions as I nod seriously back to her. She continues. "So like say, you've been laboring for 24 hours, I would recommend administering pitocin at that point to speed up labor."

Hahahahahaha! You're funny! Girl, at 24-hours of labor, I'll be more than ready for your druggie magic spells.

I have such a funny doctor.

Also, this awkward picture of pregnant women touching each other.

Consent in the Delivery Room

As I've mentioned in a previous blog, I'm planning on having a non-medicated birth. This decision is based on my research, belief systems, and personal preferences. I'm going to have a doula present (more on doulas later!), have a birthing tub, and probably question every intervention suggested by any nurses or doctors. Why? Because I've read up on the various interventions hospitals present to us these days, and to me, the risks these interventions pose far outweigh the benefits.

I've found a great doctor and a great hospital, which have been reported the most supportive of natural birth in the area. So you can imagine how my anxiety levels went through the roof when reading this blog post from a woman who recently gave birth not only from the hospital I'm going to give birth at, but had the same OB as me. She reports on a traumatic birthing experience with the OB who was present. In summary, she did not only NOT give informed consent, she had no opportunities to give consent at all to some of the interventions!

"Hey guysh! WTF ru doing? Guysh??"

This to me is truly awful, and I know it's happening all over the country. Women are being presented with interventions without being told the risks. Or worse, having these interventions implemented without even being asked. But we trust the doctors to do their job. We trust that they know best.

Let me say something radical here: no, not always.

I have a difficult time trusting doctors. I always have, and probably always will. That's probably why I've done so much research on all the interventions they implement during labor and delivery. And while I don't have "street cred," I hope that more women will take the initiative to educate themselves before they head out for that momentous hospital trip.

So, let me say for the record, I'm not anti-doctor. If I was, I wouldn't be giving birth at a hospital. I know why they're there: in case of an emergency. But birth in itself is NOT an emergency, it's a natural process that  is simple, beautiful, and should be treated this way.

I know people get very emotional and opinionated about birth and their own birthing experiences, and I guess I'm no different. I know everyone's experience is different. What I'm saying here though is, please educate yourself about birth before going to the hospital. Prepare yourself so you don't have to ask questions at the eleventh hour. That way, we can truly have Informed Consent and have the birth birthing experiences possible.

Look at the bliss on her face!

Out of all the books I've read, my favorite would have to be Your Best Birth by Ricki Lakes and Abby Epstein. It gives details on so many things I had questions on. It compares hospital birth versus home birth, details on interventions, the rest of the story behind the rise in c-sections in this country, and so much more.

Please ask me questions if you have any. I know I'm posting something that could get some people's feathers ruffled, but that's not my intent. Hopefully this will get some people thinking about these important issues.

Cravings!!!!!!!!

     The other day I was talking to my mother about the upcoming Baby Shower. I'm not big on cake (I know, I'm weird), but she wanted my opinion on what kind to get.
     "Oh, I don't know," I said, "Whatever you think people will like."
     "Ok," she said, "Well, I have some ideas on kinds to get. Can you help me at least narrow it down?" I give a somewhat patronizing sigh and smile. "Of course, mama."
     "Well, I was thinking maybe a lemon cake with raspberry filling..."
     "Mmmhmm," I say, half listening.
     "Or maybe a banana cake with chocolate filling..."
     Suddenly the heavens opened and a chorus of angels sang in my brain. I had no idea there was even such a thing as banana cake. "GET THAT," I say, perhaps a little too aggressively. My darling mother bust out laughing.
     "I KNEW that would get you!" she chuckled. Why? Because I've been crazing bananas and chocolate like there's no tomorrow. The best part? I normally can't stand bananas.
     I've heard a few stories on what causes food cravings in women. My favorite is that it's your body telling you what you need. That makes sense, right?... so why do I find myself craving so many sweet things? I normally don't have such a sweet tooth, but fruit, sugary cereals, and chocolate are things I'm all over now. Maybe since I was such a non-sweet eater before, it feels like I'm eating more sweet things. Or maybe my body is compensating for it?
     I don't know... but I do know that I'm about to enjoy these peanut butter fudge bars I just made.

A Change in Perspective

Last night I had a difficult time falling asleep, but found myself reflecting on a question that haunts couples: if labor becomes life-threatening, and the choice is to either save the mother or the baby, which should be chosen?

I've discussed this unpleasant conversation with two other women (neither of which had children), as well as my husband. Between the two women, each had valid arguments for both:

Save Mom: "You don't want to leave your husband with a newborn! Of course it will be tragic, but your significant other needs you."

Save Baby: "I could never forgive myself for living, knowing I was alive because my child had died."

Adam and I discussed this (long before I got pregnant), and we agreed: saving Mom made much more sense. If it ever came down to it, Adam would choose me. 

But as I fell asleep, I realized I felt very different about my first answer. I would die and kill for my child. I haven't even seen his face yet, and still I know this to be true. I discussed it briefly with Adam this morning, but I could tell he couldn't even fathom the idea of having me dead and taking care of an infant alone. And yet, I now understand the second woman's perspective. How could I live with that choice? I know the odds of us finding ourselves in this situation are a million to one, but if for any other reason, reflection on what my answer is a good exercise in learning what my priorities are and why.

With that being said, here's the dream these thoughts led to:

I dreamed that I made that choice and that I had died, yet I was still pregnant at the point I am now (32 weeks) and Baby was still fine and growing and well on his way. The details are hazy, but my brother had also died after me.

Me and my little brother

I found myself putting a scrapbook together with my mother for Baby about me so he could have pictures and stories and whatnot. I don't know if I was suppose to be a ghost or something, but it was very surreal, sitting on the floor talking with my mother about my life and telling her how I want my child to know me. Every once in a while, my brother would come onto the scene and talking about unrelated things (at one point he was talking about a dish made from cooked spinach and lemon).

I've been remembering dreams a bit more often since I got pregnant, which is to be expected. What I find strange is that I dream the most about my brother and my mother. It usually involves my brother either at a younger age (he's 20 now. In my dream last night, he was 4) and/or him in peril and/or dying/dead and my mother as a support.

In an attempt to interpret the dream, the presence of my mother makes sense: I'm going to become a mother myself! It seems natural to dream about her. But my brother? I'm assuming he symbolizes my baby, since he's my little brother. But why is he always dying or hurt? Am I mentally preparing for becoming a protector? Or am I afraid of my baby dying? Or something else?

The subject's a bit dark, but hopefully I'm not the only one out there with these thoughts and feelings. Let me know what you think!

Baby Has Fingernails!

Okay, so yesterday i may have stretched the truth: I'm 32 weeks as of today. And so, I watched my weekly Bump video on the development of Baby.

Every Friday has become like a birthday for me! I love watching the videos talking about what developmental milestones my baby has reached. Today they talked about how he now has hair and fingernails!

"Fingernails, really?"

That's a segue into talking about 'Juno,' right??

'Juno' is one of my all-time favorite movies. The characters, the dialogue, the story, and the way it tackles a touchy topic such as teen pregnancy is perfection. But it always bothered me that what kept her from going through with the abortion was based on a lie: that the baby had fingernails. No, the baby has a heartbeat, it can feel pain (has a spinal chord), but fingernails? No, Juno! It doesn't, sorry. But it fits with the feel of the rest of the movie, I guess. It wouldn't have fit for her to be moved by the fact that her baby has a heartbeat or a spinal chord.

Well, regardless of where Juno's baby was developmentally in this part of the film, MY baby has beautiful little fingernails and toenails and hair. Probably dark curls like his daddy. Oh the joys of being married to someone with dominant genes: makes it pretty easy to predict what Baby will look like!

Here's more on Baby at 32 weeks!

10 Things I've Learned About Pregnancy Too Late

Since I know people get sick of baby pictures and baby stories on Facebook, I'm going to begin a blog where I can talk about my future baby to my heart's content and people who are interested can read all about me and my baby.

I'm 32 weeks along now, and I'm amazed at things I've learned about pregnancy and babies I had no idea about until I got pregnant. Many I already knew (morning sickness, growing to the size of a planet, birth is ouchie), but quite a few little things that don't feel so little any more. I'd like to share a few of them with you:

10) Pregnancy Brain is real. I was absent-minded before, but I noticed a sudden decline in brain function before I even knew I was pregnant. 

9) "Mother's Instinct" is bull. I was convinced that I was having a girl because it "felt like a girl." Go figure, I'm having a boy.

8) Everything is out to get your baby. That's right, everything. In the first trimester I was pretty good about avoiding things. By the second trimester (after reading the reasoning behind the madness), the only thing I've truly been avoiding is alcohol. Other than that... let me eat my turkey sandwich and coke in peace.

7) Baby stuff is ridiculously expensive. Before I was pregnant, I got it in my head that I wanted a theme for my baby's nursery. That was before I saw prices on all that matchy-matchy stuff. Forget it Baby, you're getting this clearance crib set from Target.

6) People will touch you. The first person to attempt to touch my belly nearly got karate chopped in the neck (sorry, Jessie). I've now learned that people aren't attempting to murder me, they just want to rub the magic belly. I understand. Just give me a warning so I don't put you in a coma by accident.

5) The weirdest symptoms. The symptoms that have been worse for me are probably the unexpected ones. Like cramping the first trimester. Seriously, what? What? I thought being pregnant meant no cramps, but nooooo, the uterus has to grow to triple its size, which kind of sucks. How about that acne to make you look like you're 16 and pregnant? Or the swollen feet? How about those leg cramps that cause you to wake up screaming in pain? Yeah, they never told me about any of these.

4) The emotional roller-coaster. I knew that pregnant women were famous for being whacked out, but I can't help but wonder how much of it has to do with hormones really or if it's because, oh, I don't know, you're FREAKING OUT over the fact that you're MAKING A PERSON, and that in itself is a little over-whelming, let alone everything else.

3) People will question you. I knew this was a common thing in child-rearing (my husband and I are planning on homeschooling and all the questioning that comes along with that, for example), but before the kid is even out? I think the two things that people are most inquisitive about is 1) that I'm planning a natural birth with a doula and 2) that I'm using cloth diapers. Some days I just want to answer the "Whys" with a simple, "Because I did my homework on the topic, decided that this is the best option for me, and if you really want to know more, look it up." Or, what's worse...

2) People will make it clear that you're not making the "right choice" or even the "possible choice". Do you know how many times I've heard, "You'll be wanting that epidural soon enough!" and similar quips? Do you not think I haven't done my research on my choice? Childbirth is the most famous pain of all pains. Believe me, I haven't made this decision lightly.

1) My baby is the most magical baby ever, and I will fight you if you say otherwise. This realization came one time when I was feeling the baby kicking and someone cooed, "Oh, I loved that feeling when I was pregnant." My instinctual response was, "You don't know what you're talking about, never has something so miraculous happened as MY baby kicking." Oh! And ultrasound pictures? Most fabulous pictures of arms and a skull and feet EVER!!

Feel free to share things you learned about pregnancy after you became pregnant!